Michelangelo Demetrius stood looking proud of himself as more hands shot up. He selected a girl with a pronounced overbite. “How did you get your perfect teeth?” she asked.

“I brush them after every meal and floss twice a day,” the hero said. “You do the same and you’ll end up looking almost half as handsome as someone who looks kind of like an ugly version of me!” He moved on to the next person. “Yes, you, kid in the horrible sweater that looks like your grandma threw up on it!”

“Can you really punch straight through a wall?”

Without a word, Michelangelo turned and thrust his fist straight through the wall of the classroom. He pulled it out triumphantly, leaving a huge hole in its wake. The kids erupted into applause, but the small man with the slick black hair looked very perturbed.

Michelangelo seemed to be enjoying himself. He selected a boy with short blonde hair and a plaid shirt. The boy stood up and spoke without hesitation: “My mom says you’we not weally a hewo, but a self-absowbed nawcissist with no wegawd fow human life, who only helps people because of the wealth and glowy that it bwings. Is this twue?”

Michelangelo seemed unable to speak as he stared, dumbfounded, at the child. Before he could think of a response the bold kid continued with another accusation: “She also says that you’we a puppet used by the govewnment to fowce theiw totalitawian idea of justice on the wowld while masking the wampant conflict in society with a false peace.”

At this, the man next to Michelangelo stepped forward. “Sorry, I’m afraid we’ve run out of time for questions,” he said hurriedly. “Mr. Demetrius has a busy schedule.” As he escorted the hero out the door he added, “Please feel free to visit our online store where you can buy Michelangelo Demetrius t-shirts, as well as many other goods!”


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